Culture Shock

Well, the culture shock of being in DC has not worn off yet. My time in my current position is coming to an end. This is a fact that really excites me. 

Being an Interracial Married Couple

A lot of interracial couples told me that they eventually stop noticing looks from people. I really thought I arrived at this same place. However, this last week taught me different. Two times in the last week, I guess 3 times in the last two weeks, I experienced hatred about our interracial marriage. It is purely anger that plays out, but it is tough to respond to. Let me give you an introduction of what I deal with.

Have you ever had a job where you had to answer the same question over and over? Like, where is the admissions office? What are the requirements for this major? Maybe you just told the entire group both of the answers, only to discover with the question that no one was listening? I have a point here. The first few times that you experience a repeated answer, it is ok. You may tell yourself that people are people and although you have heard the question 1000 times, this is their first time asking. OK, so you sympathize. Usually this is how I feel.

The issue of racism in this country is an interesting one. What continues to blow my mind is that I care about the relations between the Black and White community. I try to learn as much as I can. Some of the history makes me come undone. Hatred in this country is still growing. I believe that we need to learn from the past and make better decisions about how to treat one another in the future. However, the bitterness that results from the past is evasive and it finds even those who are most compassionate about this cause. That brings me to me.

Kill Them With Kindness

I care a lot about getting along and bridging the racial tension in this society. However, I am only one person. I cannot do it on my own. To ask me to is unfair. Mikhail's hours at work change every week. So when he goes in later, he walks me to the bus stop near our house. It is a super sweet gesture and a beautiful & daily reminder of how great my husband is.

As we approach my bus stop, a black woman, about my age, gives me a glare and she keeps staring. Now this is not the kind of stare where people look at interracial couples because they may not see many. This glare resonated with anger. I looked back at her. I wanted her to notice that I noticed. Only, this accomplished nothing. I decided to ignore her. After all, she doesn't know me and if she is angry, this is her deal. Usually this is the approach I take. Today, when Mikhail walked me to the bus stop, she repeated the same behavior. So what do I do? Do I take another bus? Do I continue to ignore her?

I don't mean to go on and on about this. There was another incident like this that happened at an amusement park last week. A teenage girl, maybe 14, stared me down while Mikhail and I were in line at a ride. I don't understand why this has to be such a big deal. We are living our lives and I would kindly like to request that other people live theirs too. Yet this is a big deal. Hatred causes people to do a lot of things. Especially when it is coupled with misunderstanding. Let's be honest, as a society, we really do not understand one another's cultures and thoughts. However, we don't really seem to listen to one another either. Maybe we are not speaking another language, maybe we are not listening. Maybe we are too quick to fill in one another's sentences and thoughts that we actually do not hear or comprehend what it is someone says in the first place?

What to do?

I will continue to take the same bus. I will continue to have Mikhail see me off at the bus stop. Only next time, I am going to smile and her and say, "Hey! Do I know you from somewhere? Because every time I see you, you look at me like you know me! I just wanted to check." Then I am going to say, my name is Gina, it is nice to meet you. Then I will extend my hand and say hello. Her response is not my concern, but the friendly gesture, I can do something about. Maybe I shouldn't care, but then again, I am a servant of Christ. So as much as I want to confront her ignorance, I will be friendly instead. Maybe this will open the door for a life breathing conversation. Maybe it will not. Again, this is better than me giving her a piece of my mind. So that works right!?

Honestly, I have not decided how to handle situations like this. I can ignore them, but it has been a week and here I am still thinking about it. I think I may use my gift of vulnerability to say something nice next time. Kill them with kindness. That is what my mom would have suggested.

Time & People

For the most part, DC houses a pretty good mix of cultures. This is a good thing. It is nice to be in such a diverse city. As someone who loves culture, this is something I really enjoy. However, this is also the main source of my mental frustrations. You see, plain and simple, whenever cultures are together, differences will abound. Fact of the matter is, differences abound even when we are surrounded by our own culture. We may have less questions running through our mind since we understand the system governing the people around us. What I mean is that, when you are in your own environment surrounded by people in your own culture, you do not need to learn to interpret their words, the meaning behind the vocabulary which is used. You don't even need to focus on people's actions all that much. You know that a handshake is a greeting. Eye contact is important and smiles welcome others.

Here in DC, there are so many people living in close proximity. Again this is a good thing. In my daily routine, I go back and forth between the slow paced Virginia and the fast paced. My office is 95% African American. The community I live in is largely Hispanic, maybe it is 70:20:10 Hispanic, Black, and White. Now I am from Orlando, Florida, so this is all new to me. What is the most frustrating is how people view the concept of time around here. Back where we live, the pace is slow. People value people above schedules. This is where we live. However, when I go into the city everyday, I am met with a stark difference. People adhere to their schedule and they will run over you to get to the top. I see it everyday. Life is a race to the metro, to get on the metro car, to get out of the metro, to run to work. People are always running. The difference in how these cultures view time is a constant source of frustration for me. I am always back and forth between the two extremes. This is mentally exhausting for me.

God's Perspective

So the DC culture, learning to handle tense situations, and my job all are apart of my culture shock. Hopefully the shock will end soon and I will settle into life in the city. Hopefully. About the only thing that keeps me in this city, is the belief that I know the Lord told us to move here. And so we obeyed. Being called does not mean the road ahead will be a smooth one. So here we are in DC, working out the issues, trying to be a good example of who Jesus was in one of the most influential and corrupt cities in the world. I keep believing we were called for a reason.

For me, being in DC is a good reminder that it is Jesus who accomplishes things in this world. After all, if the Lord wants to feed his people, he is going to feed them. I am not going to hold my breath waiting for a policy to pass to easy hunger or anything in any part of the world. Since being here, I've learned that the world really is run by the Lord. He makes things happen. I don't know why bad things happen to good people. I don't know why there is such madness in some parts of the earth. However, since being here, I've learned that I do not need these answers.

For now, I see in part and I know in part. When I get to heaven and see my sweet Jesus, I will know in full. Until then, I pray that the Lord would help my unbelief and keep me on the path He has for me. As hard as this city may be, I am living where He called me. I have the best husband in the world, I attend a church that thrives on freedom, a church that has brought freedom to me, to our marriage, and this DC community. In the fall, I will be attending my top choice PHD program, to work with the professor I used search for at conferences. So it may be difficult, but this too shall pass.

* Greater things are yet to come, greater things are still to be done in this city * - Chris Tomlin