Never Settle

Where You Settle Is Where You Die

My life in DC has been interesting to say the least. I love the social aspect of my life here. I am starting to love the city, though I struggle with the corruption that clouds the atmosphere here. I am learning to like the people, though they are warm in a different way than the Floridians I am used to. I like having a regular 8-4 routine on the job. I love our apartment. I am blessed by all the things the Lord continues to do for Mikhail and I. I am thankful for our church and the people that have invested in getting to know us and love us, although I can avoid really getting to know others. I am thankful to be pursued by so many great people and to live in such a great town.

Academia.

About a 1000 times since I took this job, I have had a thought: academia ruined my ability to sit still. I can't. Not only that, academia taught me about freedom. Here, I don't have any. Academia made me feel intelligent, like my thoughts mattered, here they do not. So herein lies the tension. As a professor I tell students that they matter. However, then they go out into real world situations like this and they struggle. Was I wrong to encourage them to change the world?Perhaps it is the people who believe they matter who actually do change the world? Maybe this is not the arena for me to plant seeds in. One can only plant on fertile ground. So this place needs water. How in the world do I bring that here?

I have learned a lot of things. One that reoccurs: Never Settle. Where you settle is where you die. I don't like to admit this, but I knew that all along. Still when faced with the opportunity to take a risk or to take my current job, I took security. What I obtained, while I learned some valuable life lessons, were months and hours of misery. One should not stray from where one knows that he or she should be.

I was created for freedom. I will use this freedom to be free, rather than be entangled by the yokes of bondage.

I look forward to earning my PhD this fall. I look forward to summers off, except when I want to teach. To late nights of grading. To long days in my office inspiring students to realize their potential. I miss reading, class, research, study groups, writing and proof-reading. I am so bored here that I even look forward to my dissertation, however long and tedious it will be.

Mostly, I look forward to time. While I will spend the next 4 years getting this degree. I will spend the rest of my life enjoying the freedom the degree gives me.

I look forward to that.