Spring into Summer

Life is sweet. Spring is a time of new beginnings, of fresh starts. It is a time of becoming. Spring is a time of thawing out. All that was frozen inside me during winter is falling away. I feel myself on the verge of something amazing.

Spring into Summer.

To make this transition, I continue to train for our 4 mile marathon. It is one month away and I am up to 2.2 miles. They are not easy for me. Mikhail is almost at 4. In fact, he very well may have hit 4 today. Not me. It will take me the rest of the month to get there. But I am committed. Running reminds me that life is not easy, it is about the long haul. Running has ups and downs. So does life. Lately, I've learned that I am a lot more like my running path than I ever thought before. I too, have my ups and downs. Sometimes I get so carried away with the scenery that I miss the challenges, other times, they are my focus.

For the past few months, since I took my last job, I focused on the obstacles. Going to work was painful. It still is somedays. However, Spring brought forth a new thing. I will be working full time on my PhD this fall. I am really excited about this. Not only that, but I will be teaching too. Teaching was one thing that added passion to my life last fall. I miss it. Especially when I go to my job everyday just to complete mindless tasks. I look forward to more.

Fear.

Fear is a funny thing. It paralyzes us. Sometimes, I feel paralyzed by fear. But not anymore. I am saying no to fear and yes to loving and living life to the fullest. With that said, my PhD program is going to be tough. I fear not being good enough. I fear the workload, as terrible as that sounds. But I got my masters, and I know what I am getting myself into. Becoming a doctor, well that is a lot of work. It will take time. Effort. It is a long run, up a long hill. At the end, the view is glorious. But the hike, well, it is a long one. So I do not fear the workload. I need to be honest. I fear failure. Maybe it is because I know my weaknesses. I know how I work. However, I know that I have a lot to learn. And my mind, well, it is a sponge. That is something to celebrate.

Cheers to the God who is the door, who opens doors, who turns a no into a YES. I am thankful for this opportunity, it taught me that Jesus makes streams rise up in the wilderness. Faith. Getting to this road may have been a struggle, but I have faith that is worth running the race for.